I read a lot of stories on this site, and my thoughts and prayers are with you all! This is like the story of Joseph in the Bible. Are they wondering where’s mummy and daddy? I would never wish the pain a father goes through when something like this happens on anyone. All I can do is hope and pray that the time and love we had together she will carry in her heart as will I. When will I be able to hug my daughter and my son again. I don't usually comment on anything, but I can relate to your story so much! This poem sums up exactly how I feel. The days and hours in court not only hurt the children but also me the parent. I have recently found out about a son that I was never told about. Life can suck but remembering that I'm not deserving of my pain as much as I am not deserving of my blessings keeps me a safe head space. My only child, a precious little girl was stolen from me September of 2015 after a nasty bout of post partum depression. One day he stop visiting me, not even returning my calls. The lies that I have heard through court hearings from my wife and what she has told the courts is unbelievable. Maybe easier to fight back the tears and fight the pain, but it never goes away. It was a sweet reunion. I lost my youngest son to his manipulative, lying, cheating father. I've seen a ton of kids go through... © I now know what loss and heartbreak are really about. No actions to be taken. Aug 8, 2019 - Explore Manayiyal's board "Losing a child quotes" on Pinterest. My deepest thoughts and prayers are with you. Luckily today she's home with us for 2 weeks now. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. For almost 3 years I jumped through hoops. I write them a letter everyday. Believe me, I tried everything. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. If a child is sick for a period of time, the family has time to come to terms with the idea of losing the child. I pray he does not. Share Your Story Here. or sunshine in your eye? Now her mother wants her back and is taking me to court. A Poem About Losing Custody. We were thrown together when she was very small by parents doing drugs, fighting around her, and going to jail. I hope everyone's story turns out well somehow, someway because this is the most excruciating pain anyone can experience. Up to 15% of these women will develop a more severe and longer-lasting depression, called postpartum depression, after delivery. I'm engaged to be married and I can truly say that this man is the second most amazing thing that ever happened to me. daughter taken Nov. 29th 2011 by CPS (Child Protective Services), because of lie, by daughter who was mad at me at the time, no contact since. Jessica L. Schickel, Daddy Walked Out By I had this happen to me also. This poem is what my heart yearns to say, not as a parent but as a caregiver. I came back to my country because my status doesn't allow me to be there anymore, and I saw a good opportunity with my brothers to succeed with them here. In Oregon, there are two types of child custody: legal and physical. Now that she seems to have no use for me or my help, my baby is being taken away from me, and I’m left feeling hopeless. Just know you're always in my heart Denial and Depression Commonly Occur After a Miscarriage. I did not ever put my son in harm's way other than opening a legal opportunity for my ex to alienate me further. Less than a part time mother. Brianna K. Slone, Best Interest Of The Child By I think of them every single day!! Also my son is married. It's painful and life seems meaningless. Today is your birthday and everyone will be celebrating because you have the distinction of being born on the 4th of July. On top of this, they have an 8 year old sister they seem to have forgotten exists. It's hard every day. This is an excellent page full of sound advice BUT in reality many parents will still be far from convinced that sharing their concerns with social workers is a safe thing to do. 7:49. It is like losing your future, says Wayne Loder, whose only two children died in a car accident 14 years ago last Sunday. She was admitted to hospital when she fell into a coma, x-rays determined that she had a crack in her skull, bleeding and swelling to the brain. I lost custody, and they are now with their dad. I miss them so much and wonder everyday if they're safe and happy. Thank you Annie for your kind words. Methods: We studied mental health outcomes of a cohort of women whose first child was born in Manitoba, Canada between 1 April 1997 and 31 March 2015. Why do men have to keep enduring the unjust and unequal bias that the legal system has against fathers? Every day the pain gets worse. The system is institutionally biased towards fathers. I lost my oldest son to an unexplained death a year and a half ago. I come from a Great oriented Family. It feels like it's killing me. We used to live with my ex-sister-in-law and her new husband. The parents have a 12 year old child that is getting the grade F in 4 out of his 5 classes and is seriously acting out in class, getting into fights and regularly being disciplined. God choose to remove a three year old child from this world and give us an angel without fear and pain. I will tell you this, I don't think it ever gets any easier. Children are being handed over to these men while the moms life falls apart. My ex stopped me seeing my children the day after I stopped paying maintenance when I lost my job. author unknown, see child loss poems "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today" James Dean “The family with an old person in it possesses a jewel.” Chinese saying “Suicide is what the death certificate says when one dies of depression.” Peter D. Kramer, psychiatrist. Every visit they don't want to go back. If hitting is part of the regular parenting strategy, therefore, now is a good time to take a step back and look at how it can affect each parent’s relationship with the child. You're right; it doesn't get easier. If it negatively … I started hating myself by guilt and the shame. Losing a child. What has been taken or lost will never be able to be returned. It felt like I'd lost everything I had. When a child is left in the middle of a couple's breakup, it can lead to bitter custody battles and tons of drama. But I promise we'll be together, However, I received custody of the children in the family court. Were you touched by this poem? One day I will be reunited with him and our patchwork family will be reunited. Despite spending thousands on legal defense and hours with lawyers and in court appearances it seems like she will get away with separating me from my daughter. Common Mistakes: the word "i" should be capitalized, "u" is not a word, and "im" is spelled "I'm" or "I am". My ex and I got separated and divorced a year ago due to serious issues, and it affected my daughter. If I go, my family will no longer get to see them. I lost my boys through divorce. For you to love the while she lives, And mourn for when she’s dead. Now all I do is think of them and PRAY TO GOD that one day I'll see my children again. It got originally dismissed by the same court for being unfounded. The poems can be used in the memorial program, for readings, or on thank you cards. I have been through the pain too. 335 thoughts on “ Parents with Mental Health Issues ” Philip Measures February 4, 2014 at 10:19 pm. Support worker Sheila Griffin, 36, had been acquitted of … I don't know what to do. I continued to battle depression until one day I came to the realization that only I, with the help of God, could make my life worthwhile. As parents we feel we have failed. It may be hard right now but one day it'll be worth it. It's as if a part of my life has been taken from me and from them. They often have more anger, guilt, physical symptoms, greater depression, and a loss of meaning and purpose in life. I gave them everything. All stories are moderated before being published. I thank God that I found and married my husband. I have had my child the past two and a half years. My kids adore me and we only talk a little via social media (thank goodness for that or we would have no contact at all). Managing emotions after losing custody. It's so hard to go on when there are these parts of you out there that we are inclined by nature to nurture, love on, celebrate, and protect and we are not in position to be a part of the day to day or even seasonal activities or festivities. Don't know why. I grew up feeling unloved and suffered from depression. You are not alone. I tried not to show my pain, because this type of pain that I have inside is killing me. It's so unfair when the mother leaves with the child and over years doesn't even bother to let the child know who the father is. They experience anticipatory grief. I hope someday in the future there will be some sort of a team/group here where mums and dads who have similar problems can talk with each other/share their experiences. That to me is a sin. ©2020 Verizon Media. My older son was devastated when we were torn apart. Just a pity my kids are not able to share this with me. I am one of those fathers, and it is too much to bare. One night they (and my kids’ mother) held down Sarah on a chair and beat her 15 times with a belt. My parents have been divorced since I was little, and I've always wondered what it was like for them when they were getting divorced. By separating fears from reality, you can better understand how to maintain or regain custody of your child (or children), and what role your mental health treatment program should play as you seek to keep your family together. I've filed to have the hearing expedited. I emailed my oldest son and he told me that he has a new mom. I found out I was pregnant again, 5 months after losing my newborn, and I left the town my children were taken from me in. I hope they come and find me or I can find them one day. This article is not conclusive and only gives some of the effects known to effect family members when getting divorced and seeking child custody. I miss my daughter so much! I know the feeling of being powerless to change something as devastating as this. He used to threaten me that he will kill me. My heart breaks every day too. It just breaks my heart. I woke up at 4:00 am today and found this place. The pain is insurmountable. I wonder what you're doing Unfortunately, she is not biologically or legally my child. Thank you I could not put my feelings in words but needed to read it to understand it. Did you feel raindrops on your face I got into trouble with law enforcement due to possession of cannabis. I, too, lost my son a few months ago. I saw my daughter a week ago, and they both have untreated lice so bad that it’s eating up the skin on their necks. The shock and heartbreak of not being able to be with my little angel on our special days is unbearable. It is killing me inside. Jan 9, 2017 - Loss or separation from children due unjust court orders, abuse, alienation or Domestic Violence by Proxy. He's been like this for 3 years now. His dad remarried, and he has a sister. I am going to get it tattooed on my arm for my children. F.A.M.I.L.Y (Father And Mother I Love You!!). Child Custody During And After Inpatient Drug And Alcohol Treatment. In every custody case, the court makes a decision based on the best interests of the child. I went to court, but they denied my request to set up visits. Now I am painted as a criminal. I'm sad that my 9 year old daughter is coming home with issues and needs professional help to get through the trauma of this ordeal. Your new family is Heroin and it holds you close, so much so that you have forgotten us. I hope one day he will give me the opportunity to find out why there is this distance between us. Losing a child. Who can blame the parent who has lost a custody battle for feeling bitter, angry, depressed and anxious? I can't see my two babies until it seems like a lifetime. My heart cannot go on. Therefore, such a parent is not able to obtain custody of a child in the first instance. A mother-of-four killed herself after losing custody of her children over false accusations she had sex with an underage boy. There's not a single day that I don't wonder what he is doing today. All we did was smoke a little pot. Aug 8, 2019 - Explore Manayiyal's board "Losing a child quotes" on Pinterest. He left my home to live with his father and didn't speak to me for 10 years. Who can blame the parent who has lost a custody battle for feeling bitter, angry, depressed and anxious? I didn't realize what I was getting myself into! I lost my son last year. A lot of quiet pauses on the phone because we don't know what to say. They always stayed just enough in her life to keep her upset. I should have called the cops, but I was scared of my ex-sister-in-law’s husband. After a child’s death, most parents feel as if a part of their life has been erased, this is a very frightening feeling. If it’s unsafe or harmful for a child to be with one parent, that’s the most substantial way mental illness impacts child custody. One day soon we will be reunited and that will be the best day of my life. This is the most touching of all poems I have been reading. The pain and emptiness fills me up day and night. Why is the system so dam hard on good men who take care of their responsibilities? Cannot bear to lose her. They were taken because I was broken, fragile, intimidated, had no money, no support and he had really good support from our corrupted law in our city. Facing the death of a child may be the hardest thing a parent ever has to do. The stole my children, didn't let me see them for 2 weeks, investigated me, I jumped through their hoops for 2 years, had a baby in the middle of this, whom they took from me at the hospital, they found me mentally incapable because I have PTSD and I am bipolar, and I really just had no support system. I will lend you, for a little time, A child of mine, he said. I don't know if I did the right thing by separating, and I wish I could be with him. Objective: The objective was to compare mental illness diagnoses and treatment use among mothers who lost custody of their child through involvement with child protection services and those seen in mothers dealing with the death of a child. After a series of poor decisions, Jonathan learned that his ongoing depression was a result of undiagnosed PTSD. She is constantly angry with me and no one else. She cheated on me and abused me physically. 17. How is that fair? Never would I have let anyone or anything ever hurt them. Hi. She is my child. How does one cope with the loss and the resultant feelings? Touched my heart and mind. I lost both of my daughters about a year and a half ago. God gets a huge laugh when we tell him what WE want and what OUR plans are. Poor co-parenting that may lead to losing custody of a child. Anyway, the fake court gave my mother real power. Losing a child custody case may seem to you like losing your child forever. But I put it in God's hands and know everything happens for a reason, whether we see it or not. I have a daughter. While a loss of a parent or caregiver is traumatic for any child, the likelihood of this turning into depression depends on four factors, according to a report in the Journal of American Psychiatry. I will never ever be able to get over my little boy who was 4 and my baby girl who was 10 months old being taken away. I found my baby boy and contacted his grandmother to let her know that I am the father and offered my assistance and want to be in his life. God choose to remove a three year old child from this world and give us an angel without fear and pain. I know how you feel. Friends are going out to celebrate a birth. Karista and Kylee mommy and daddy love and miss ya'll so much. I want to help others with the same pain, but if I hurt still so much how do I try to tell someone else to stay positive? Believe me I'm a great Father! As I said before It's something that I started and never finished. But you are not forgotten and we pray for the day when you come home. Your family lost a child and there are no reasonable words of comfort to make it all okay. A look into an evil world where false allegations and abuse are allowed. We still have our struggles, and, as anyone who's suffered loss can tell you, you never know what life is going to throw at you. I may lose my beautiful, smart, great niece that I have raised for 12 years. Marsha K. Moore, Questions By They often have more anger, guilt, physical symptoms, greater depression, and a loss of meaning and purpose in life. I haven't seen them since 2009. No words of comfort to be found. written by Amy Merrick when her 14 month old daughter passed away from a brain aneurysm in 1992 I’ll Lend you a Child . I know God sees us through our trials, and sometimes we never know why. I signed him over to my sister, but the court is not allowing me to see him until 2019. The copyright of all poems on this website belong to the individual authors. Soon my babies and I hope to enjoy life how it's supposed to be lived. See more ideas about grief, domestic violence, child loss. My two daughters are married. I am still hurting and cry when I'm alone. I'm left with a hole in my heart and questions as to why. It hurts so much not knowing what I did wrong. There isn't enough room however for me to tell my story. I went through the same thing with my son. I was a teacher and I worked in the inner city. I would've done anything! I understand your absolute grief. It's been five long years and no word from him. But I realized that I was making myself even more depressed and miserable. I cannot say "hang in there, it gets better" because I don't know that. These strategies exist to aid you in dealing with a loss of child custody both personally and legally 1. Methods: We studied mental health outcomes of a cohort of women whose first child was born in Manitoba, Canada between 1 April 1997 and 31 March 2015. It is all so ridiculous. My daughter is coming home in 13 days after being with my mother for 2 years. She says she has been anointed by God. Creative outlets can help you make sense of your feelings. It may not produce what I wish was at this very moment, however, I just have to believe that if I pray fervently for the children's hearts, minds, abilities, talents, and spirits that they will be covered and protected. and how did you sleep last night? I do believe in the power of prayer. Why can't we be together? This glorious angel has been in my life since the minute she was born, and I have never seen her as anything less than my child. I, too, lost my daughters. I cannot even imagine what their father say about me to them. It still hurts and I know for sure however long it takes I will be with my baby one day. And the things that hold true, are all lies. Perhaps that is one of the reasons. I fear that my beloved girl will take me out of her life since she feels that I abandoned her. Teach yourself the art of patience and everything will feel better even in the face of such adversity. Losing custody of your kid is an emotional bomb. I thank God that I found and married my husband. I missed out on everything. It solidified our relationship, nothing can come in-between. I have one also but from another perspective. They were adopted out. To the extent you’re able, show that the other parent isn’t fit by comparison. Custody battles can get ugly! He sought help and has now become an advocate for PTSD treatment and recovery. One has 3 daughters of her own and my other daughter has 3 sons. I never hit her back, but she made up a story and got me arrested by the police. Losing custody of your kid is an emotional bomb. Find him and you will find peace. wrong! 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